There are different levels of friendship, ranging from
“I Will Like Your Facebook Picture But We Probably Won’t Talk In Public For More Than Four Minutes”.. to..
“I Will Text You A Three Line String of Emojis And You Will Clearly Know The Depth Of My Anguish At Watching The Parenthood Series Finale”.
The deepest level of friendship: a soul sister. The same person who knows the Social Media You and also knows what you look like twelve haircuts ago wearing retainers to bed. They love you and they like you. Most days. Seasons of life have passed by with friends like this- walking to class together, buying the bridesmaid’s dress for her wedding, holding her firstborn. And because life isn’t perfectly packaged, sometimes it means I will leave for my vacation three days late to be at your Dad’s funeral. I will walk with you through depression, miscarriages, the messy and the baggage. A friend like this is someone worthy of your priorities and deserving of your time.
A group of my college friends have gotten together the past five years for an annual girls’ weekend. We find the cheapest (read: FREE-EST) house in a different city and go sit on that couch eating lots of food. It’s awesome. This year we had 13 girls staying steps away from the beach. We’ve done mountains, lake, small town, big city, and now- the ocean.
Some highlights of those in attendance:
-preggo road tripping from DC with zero bathroom stops
-Chickfila owner/operator coming in HOT from Illinois
-chief resident of Emergency Medicine at a Nashville hospital (kinda important. humble brag on her behalf.)
-one wearing an engagement ring, months away from marrying a Brit and moving to The Land Of Fish And Chips, and another unknowingly about to be engaged two weeks later
-stay-at-home Moms raising precious little ones, past roommates and current roommates, saucy Gingers in abundance
Here’s the moral of that story: Spending time with these friends is life-giving, refreshing, and encouraging.
I was sitting among them, eating my ham biscuits, thinking: Yes. This. People need more of this in their lives. No drama, no toxic negativity, just a group of women who have memories spanning from flip phones to dating apps, who genuinely get each other and enjoy life together. The blog post was already turning in my head. (The poor people in my life now ask me, “Are you going to write about this?” like I’m the Taylor Swift of the blogosphere, poised to put all triumphs and angst to paper. “Yes.. I will write about this. And one day when my guitars are being sold on eBay and I’m feuding with Kanye, I will remember all of you little people.”)
You don’t have to collect an enormous friendship squad.. I honestly don’t even like 8 of those people that go on our trip. (Just kidding. But seriously, it’s like at least five.) I do think there’s such value in women having healthy female friendships that are deep, authentic, and energizing, whether with one person or several people. Choose friends who are willing to come over and real-talk with you over Chipotle, but also look up YouTube videos of “people falling” before they leave. They’ll tell you they’re praying for you and actually mean it. They will back you up so hard when life gets messy and prank you so hard when you least expect it.
This post is a tribute to soul sisters- that person, those friends, your biffs- who have always been ready for an adventure and continue to be constant, perceptive, and thoughtful. YOU DA REAL MVP.